Be What You Say

Our company’s monthly newsletter always includes an inspirational quote. Sometimes from famous people and other times from people I’ve never heard of before. (Often times I’m shocked at who these little nuggets of wisdom come from lol)

July’s inspirational word is a quote from American writer, William Faulkner. He said,

“We must be free not because we claim freedom, but because we practice it.”

It just kind of struck me when I read it. I immediately thought of how that could be applied in all areas of life. Particularly, in my life.

Basically he’s saying – be what you say. Do what you say. Practice what you preach. Live what you speak. Demonstrate what you proclaim.

I’m not healthy in my body because I say that I am. I’m healthy because I live a healthy lifestyle. I’m not a kind, loving person because I claim to be that. I’m a kind, loving person because I put into practice kindness and love. I’m not a follower of Christ because I speak of Him and can quote Scripture … rather because I put that Word into practice in my daily life.

Words are just words until you team them up with actions … a noun is just a noun until you turn it into a verb. BE about it.

My C+ Life

Average. I think I may just be average. The question is – am I okay with that?

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So,  I’m talking with a co-worker-come-friend with whom I have so much in common that it’s borderline scary (yet cool). And it was during this particular morning chat over coffee (her) and tea (me) that I became extremely self-aware. A revelation … a deeper understanding of something I’d already known about myself but had never put into words, let alone made an excuse for it.

I’ve never been accused of being overly ambitious. I’m FULL of good ideas. I’m a total starter with big dreams and great intentions. But rarely do I turn those ambitions into a completed anything. I don’t really excel at any one thing that could potentially get me far in life or that I could make a career out of. Rather, I have the potential to excel at a number of different things but have ZERO motivation to take any of those talents or skills to that next level.

It’s not for lack of confidence, though that has been an issue from time to time. The ol’ “but am I really good enough to do something with this?” type of second-guessing of my capabilities. But … no. It just really boils down to lack of motivation, laziness and lack of commitment.

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I walked away from morning chat / therapy session with the realization that:  there isn’t ONE thing that I’m so passionate about that I would do whatever it took to make the dream a reality. Let me give you some examples:

I have always wanted to play the piano. I sing. I’ve written songs. I absolutely LOVE music. I’ve often felt dwarfed in this area because I cannot play my own music. I’ve attempted piano lessons twice – once even staying committed up to a year with once-a-week, half hour lessons. It was the practicing on my own time that I had a difficulty committing to. While I REEAAALLLYYYY want to play … I don’t want to play badly enough to discipline myself and sit there at least 30 minutes every day to practice. Even bought a nice piano … that is currently collecting dust and making me feel guilty every time I walk past it.

Photography. Oh my – how I absolutely enjoy photography. I have a good eye and an artistic flair. I would be more than good at it. But do I want to invest time in taking a class and studying up on technique? Learn the ins and outs of this skill set? Sounds good. But alas – No. I can guarantee I wouldn’t even read the user manual on how to use the camera … until I get so frustrated that I’m ready to toss it across the room. Dream over before it ever even began.

I’ve tried knitting. Figured I could make my own scarves and beanies and blankets. Save a ton of money. Use them as gifts even. Couldn’t get the hang of it within a week so I lost interest. Besides, who needs the head ache when you have a 30% coupon from Kohls? Problem solved.

Started crafting – making handmade cards and calendars. Bought all kinds of crafting “necessities” from Stampin Up. Michael’s employees knew me like my Starbucks barista knows my order. This hobby actually lasted a good 2-3 years. But, as do all things with me, it seemed to have run its course and I lost interest. My crafting table and toys sit on the opposite wall from my piano. They tag-team me with the guilt trips. But to get rid of them all would be to admit defeat. Besides … you know – what if I want to dabble in them again one day?

And the list goes on. I’ve been this way since I was a kid. Just HAD to take gymnastics like my older cousin. Two months in, at the age of 6 – I’d had enough. Bored. No longer interested. Refused to go.

As I was talking with my co-worker AKA “Bestie”, it was becoming clear – I’m just average. Nothing peaks my interest enough that I would do anything and everything to succeed at it (well, with the exception of my marriage). Nothing inspires me enough to stay committed to it so that I could break into that ABOVE average category.

Bestie reassured me that this is “normal” … that there are many out there just like us. And I started to think that maybe I should embrace this mantra. That this is who I am and it’s okay to be this way. So what if I’m talented in many areas but don’t excel in any one of them. So what if I have a ton of potential yet no motivation. So what if I don’t really have a particular niche. I should just accept that this is who I am and it’s normal and it’s okay.

 

Problem is … I’m not okay with it. I’m not comfortable with the idea of wasting natural talents and skills that God has given me. I feel like a lazy ass who decides against doing certain things because it’s going to require extra time and effort. Try as I may, I just can’t be at peace with accepting mediocrity. Don’t get me wrong – I don’t have to be well-renowned and recognized for my accomplishments. But to just see something through to the end … start to finish with all the work required in between.

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The other problem is … I don’t know how to propel myself out of this average, mediocre hole I’ve been stuck in all my life. How to stay inspired enough to see projects past the idea stage all the way to completion.

I am absolutely sure of this one thing:

I can’t rest knowing that I have the capabilities of graduating life with high honors … but am willing to accept skating by with a C average because it’s all I need to pass.

 

 

5 Senses Monday – November 7th

5 Senses Monday is a little piece of fun that I borrowed from my good friend Lauren AKA The Urban Hippie of theurbanhippie.wordpress.com … that she borrowed from another blogger … and so on and so forth.

It’s a weekend review via the 5 senses. I encourage u to play along 😁   It goes a little something like this …

SEEING:  My Raiders take the win over the ponies – RAIIIDDERRRSSS! … the first 10 minutes of Zootopia and then the back of my eyelids (could not stay awake) … my fall decor and feeling very into the season … cozy n warm in my cold weather jammies 

HEARING:  sirens and more sirens (what the heck is going on?!) … the loud neighbor lady who sounds like Mrs. Walowitz yelling for her dog – “Jaaaack” … my doggy bark at me because I took my attention away from him for like 10 seconds 

SMELLING:  pine-sol from my squeaky clean floors … pumpkin spice from a new candle … Juicy Couture perfume that my hubby bought for me (cuz he knows what I like)

TASTING:  cinnamon applesauce (I love cinnamon anything) … a yummy chicken Caesar salad … not-so-yummy spinach artichoke dip (mine’s better😜) … Applebees sweet Asian bbq sauce – totally de-lish  

FEELING:  extremely accomplished having gotten so many things domes around the house … excited for Thanksgiving (my favorite holiday next to Christmas Eve) … feeling nervously excited for our upcoming honeymoon – nervous to be on the plane for almost 6 hours (yikes!) but excited to hike the mountains of Kauai and relaxation

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All in all it was a wonderfully relaxing and accomplished weekend. I would call it a success. How was your weekend? Share in the Comments section!

 

Welcome Back Fall

Cuddle Season has officially returned!

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Bust out the cozy blankets, cold weather gear, and soup bowls. I am READY! Time to rock the beanies, scarves, and boots with tha furrrr (yeah I just said that).

And so begin the food and drink cravings:  pumpkin spice EVERYTHING, hot chocolate, albondigas (which I am sooooooooooo needing right now), baked treats. Of course with the ushering in of Fall means Thanksgiving is just around the corner. (Thinking too much on the holiday menu does not exactly curb the seasonal food cravings.)

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And then there’s the decorating! I’m a little behind in this area but it’s on the weekend agenda. Going to pull out all my pumpkins, scarecrows, owls, flower arrangements, and yummy smelling candles. I did however get a jump on my front door display. I was feeling artsy-craftsy in the worst way a couple weeks ago. What do you think?

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The leaves are turning beautiful colors. (It’s so strange how something can be that stunning towards the end of its life cycle.) Now, if I could just get them to pick themselves up – I’d be winning.

Yes, this is definitely my most favorite time of year. My main objective this season – at least a few nights a week:  bake more, make more soups, cozy up on the couch with my blankey, my kindle, a cup of hot chocolate, and my honey. That right there is a recipe for relaxation folks.

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What are some of your favorite things about Fall?

 

Accomplishment … or Lack Thereof

A work To-Do list a mile long. An In-Box that doth spilleth over. A pile-to-file equal to that in-box. Add in the constant interruptions, pressure of making up two and a half missed days from last week, and next week’s deadlines … and you have yourself a seriously diminished sense of accomplishment.

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my desk currently (what you don’t see is my other desk and back counter)

That’s me today. I have been busy every single minute of this horrid Tuesday and yet have accomplished NOTHING. Not one item marked off the ol’ to-do list. Not a single task seen through to completion (though I’ve put forth every effort). Of course, blogging about it isn’t exactly helping the situation, now is it?  **she blushes**

Throwing in the towel folks … up goes the white flag … mentally checking out … put a fork in her – she’s done … callin’ the game on account of today sucks.

 

 

This is Lil’ Miss Sunshine, signing off … and holding out hope for Hump Day.

A Penny for Your Thoughts

I’m a total people-watcher. Can’t help it. Especially when something about a stranger strikes me as funny or odd or out of place … or in this case – alone. And not just alone but seemingly lonely. Once they’re in my sights, I begin to wonder.

For instance, the other night we were having dinner out and I saw an older gentleman eating alone. Now I understand there are those who are completely comfortable enjoying a quiet meal by themselves. I’m not one of those people. While some people are fine with that, there are those who just look down … sad. This man from the restaurant struck me as a little sad and lonely. Couldn’t help but wonder if he’d come here alone because he wanted to or because he had no one to come with.

Then today, we went to enjoy the sunshine on one of the many beautiful beaches nearby. My people-watching skills in full effect. I saw two different men stop and just take in the awesomeness of the mighty Pacific. While they seemed to pondered life I began to wonder about each of them …

What brings him here today … alone? Does he prefer the quiet time by himself to think? What’s he thinking about? Is he remembering the past that has lead him to this point? Or contemplating a financial decision? Is this where he and his wife used to come walk together? Is she at home preparing dinner or has she gone home to be with the Lord? Is he simply enjoying a walk and a beer on the beach? Or are the waves of life crashing as thunderously in his heart as they are against this shore?

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Perhaps nothing is wrong at all. But I’m curious nonetheless. I say a prayer for them and go back to my own pondering and contemplating. Wondering if anyone is observing me from a distance … guessing at what might be weighing on my mind.

Beach Cruisin’ … And Then Some

I have officially joined the beach cruiser ownership club. Okay, so there’s not really a club (that I know of anyway). But I did, in fact, buy my first beach cruiser bike and … I love it! It was a purchase based solely on the look and appeal of the bike – the nostalgia. It brings back childhood vibes and memories of hours of bike riding with the neighborhood kids.

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You know what else I’m reminded of? Riding a bike as a child was a ton more fun and a lot less exercise than at this age. hahaha    Me:  “Aw man, I just realized we still have to ride back.”  Ah but it’s still fun even as a “big kid”.

I know they say that one never forgets how to ride a bike. And while that may be true of the “how-to” part … the balance part of the equation is never mentioned. I may remember how to operate a bicycle but over the years, I’ve lost the skill of balancing one. (No, I didn’t fall. However, I now have an understanding and new respect for the necessity of the ol’ bike helmet. Possibly also knee pads … elbow pads … full body armor perhaps)

That aside, it was a B-E-A-utiful day for beach cruisin’ this past Monday. My honey and I packed up the bikes in his jeep (top off … the jeep I mean) and drove over to Monterey. Sunny, warm, gorgeous Monterey Bay.

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Monterey Bay here we come

 

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We made it from just before the wharf over to Lover’s Point Park. Took in the sights and sounds. Sat in the shade of a Eucalyptus. People watched. He proposed. I said yes. Rode back to the wharf and had lunch … screeeeeech – wait … what?  We people watched. No, after that. We had lunch? No, before that. Ohhhh – yeah … we’re gettin’ hitched. hahaha

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until the wheels fall off baby

Needless to say, it was a great 3-day, Valentine’s weekend. Lovely flowers, yummy dinner, perfect weather to take out the beach cruiser, cherished time spent with the love of my life/best friend, and … diamonds. What more could I ask for?

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bliss